Holden

There are times when I begin to pick up Catcher and the Rye only to put it down again, realizing that I'm in a place in which rereading Holden's tale will only feed my annoyance with mankind and further my gloomy disposition. Then, there are times like now, when I can pick up my yellowed, decade-old copy, and enjoy J.D. Salinger's work with a smile and an "Amen!". I can laugh at how ridiculously "phony" people are, while realizing that, no matter how hard I try, I will always be just as ridiculous, idiotic, and phony as it gets. At 15, I read Salinger's words and thought, "Finally, someone else sees how stupid people are, too!". Of course, I still had the notion that I was less stupid than most, and I was determined to be different and to rise above being a sheep (baaaah, baaaaah). The humor is that, regardless of my assertion that I was different, I wasn't. I'm still not. I can mock the game, and put down those who play it, but the truth is that I, too, am a player.

It's been 10 years since I first read Catcher in the Rye, and I am in a very different place. I'm still a bit snobby, and I still sometimes catch myself thinking that I am "above" the common, run-of-the-mill people. Fortunately, this occurrence, which used to be an hourly event, has become less frequent. I have realized that I'm way more common than I would like, and I'm a total phony, to boot. The great thing is that, even though my life looks very little like I thought it would 10 years ago, I still "get" Holden, and I think he would "get" me, too.