nothin' special

Spring break has begun, and words can't express how much I need it. I am drained. If I didn't get a break soon, I was probably going to lose my mind. I love what I do, I love serving the unique population that I work with, but it can be so unbelievably soul-sucking. Right now I am questioning if I belong in a Title I school. As much as I want to help these students, as much as I believe that they need SOMEONE to love them, the anger and disgust that I feel for the people who are "raising" them grows more and more. Perhaps it is because I am still shocked by the neglect, by the selfishness (I can't even begin to count how many kindergarteners are on their second or third school of the year because Mom/Dad/whothehellever moves and transfers students, or goes to Mexico for three months, or gets a new boyfriend/girlfriend in another district, then moves back when things don't work out). Maybe when I am used to the lifestyles of the families I serve, I will have greater patience. But something tells me that may not be the case.

For one week, I am going to leave my anger, my frustration, and my fears for my students behind (as best I can). Kevin and I have planned a semi-last minute trip to Vegas (Kevin's second favorite place in the world, second only to Texas). Although I have a million projects to get done before life resumes elsewhere, I am determined to spend a couple of days having fun, dammit.

Peace be to you in your hood,

Jessica