I'm not sure what's happening to people lately, but I'm noticing a disturbing trend of dating, romance, and, dare I say, love fixation. I honestly think everyone around me has gone temporarily bonkers. I've been officially single for... 4 days now, I think (I stopped to count that on my fingers, which makes me smile) and really... I'm a little bit relieved and even thankful for the chance to take a break. It's not that I don't believe in love, because really, I think it's an amazing thing. I guess what has been irking me the most with all of this “you have to meet my cousin’s best friend’s brother’s barber” talk is an assumption that well meaning people are making in constantly hounding single people to find someone (anyone!): that marriage is the surefire way to completion and fulfillment for all. Now, before you label me a fem-Nazi, please hear where I'm coming from. I think the prospect of sharing my life with someone is wonderful. I love the thought of meeting someone who complements me and who, in turn, I complement as well. Someone whose strengths cover my weakness and whose weakness are met by my strengths. I've been lucky enough to witness marriages that are built on an awesome partnership in ministry that works around this concept: two people who God works through, as an entity, to accomplish amazing things. It's beautiful. I would love to have a husband who has a heart for youth ministry because that's where my heart is. I want someone who is as passionate as I am about simply hanging out with kids, acting goofy with them, crying with them, and sharing a love for God with them that will impact their walk with the Lord for eternity. Just thinking about it gets me excited and words evade me as I try to do justice to the blessing that marriage can be.

That said, I love that God also uses single people to accomplish amazing things. Sometimes I think about how much more available I was to the youth that I worked with during times of singleness. Not having a husband and family of my own allowed me to give freely of my time, my finances, and my energy. It seems, so often, that even in the Christian community, long-term singleness is still associated with the undesirable, the unlovable, the rejected. I never wanted to be single when I grew up because I knew people would assume that I couldn't find somebody to marry me. How sad is that? Really, it's not like finding someone to marry you is all that hard… there’s always someone out there who is desperate enough, it seems ;-). Most of the people I know that are married I certainly wouldn’t marry, but they found someone who would, and good for them. (I’m really hoping that my playful mood is apparent as I write this). As I’ve gotten older, I’ve come to understand Paul’s take on singleness: for many it’s not just what happens when no one shows up to sweep them off their feet but, rather, a worthy calling.

Something else I’ve been pondering lately is why so many people are quick to assume that lack of a significant other is the biggest problem in the life of a single? Instead of asking me if I’m seeing anyone, ask me when the last time I read my Bible was. Ask me how my walk with the Lord is going. Maybe there are bigger fish to fry in my life than lack of a “boo”.

All of this to say: Wanna go out Friday night?